We are Not Meant to do Life in Isolation. What to do When you are Feeling Disconnected
Can I ask you a quick question? How connected do you feel to others at this time in your life?
If you are content or grateful in this area what advice would you offer to others who are struggling in this area?
If your social life and support network is not where you would like it to be, what are the biggest challenges to finding the connections you crave?
There is so much truth to the saying that "people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime". We don't always know how long our connections with others may last. That does not make them any less meaningful.
There are times when we may experience more transitions in our relationships. Or times when we may crave a different type or quality of connections than we had before.
It might be external or life stage changes. Such as a move to a new city, a career transition, or launching a business. It could be a more personal change. The transition to parenthood or to becoming an empty nester. A change in relationship status. It might be an internal change such as a change in values and priorities.
We all go through different identities and periods of growth. Our relationship needs reflect our changing desires as we grow and evolve.
We are meant to be interdependent. To be able to be independent but to also have healthy and secure attachment with others. We are a deeply social species whose survival has depended on being a part of a group. Our relationship needs and core values may change. Yet our need for connection remains.
Loneliness is not the absence of connection. It is the absence of meaningful connections. We can be surrounded by others yet still feel alone. We all need relationships where we are seen and valued for being ourselves. Thatโs why focusing on strengthening your social support network is essential for emotional health.
Healthy, interdependent connections do not make us 'needy' or insufficient on our own. They are essential for a healthy and happy life. They make us stronger and more resilient. There are many studies that attest to the power of positive social bonds. On the flip side, relationships that are high in stress and conflict can actually decrease our health and well-being. The quality of our relationships makes a big difference in our quality of life.
There are many things that money can't buy and real, genuine relationships and love is one of them.
Yet with the loss of the traditional 'village,' we all have periods where we may need more social connection.
When this happens we can look both inward as well as to the outside world. We first of all need to have healthy relationship skills ourselves. Developing the qualities that make us safe and healthy people is paramount. Skills such as emotional regulation, self-awareness and positive communication skills.
We also all have times when we have to be more active in building the type of connections we are missing out on.
No one person can meet all our social needs, nor should they. Putting too much pressure on any one person can be harmful to these connections.
Reflection Questions:
What do I appreciate about my current support system?
How am I showing up to support those I care about?
What support or connections would I like more of?
What steps can I take to cultivate meaningful connections and strengthen my social support network?
What has been your experience with building a support network? How have you maintained meaningful connections during life transitions? Do you have any communities you just love? Share them below: