Making “Buffer Space” Work for You: Planning for the Unexpected
I wanted to share reflections on the concept of creating "buffer time" in case it is helpful for you. Buffer time helps us manage many of the unexpected stressors in life.
Some stressful events come out of nowhere, we don't see them coming. There is no way to prepare. The best we can do is to focus on doing our best in the moment. We can help calm the anxiety by focusing on what we can rely on. This can include externals such as support networks. Our internal qualities, such as being able to problem solve or reach out for support. It can even help to reflect on times we have survived the unexpected in the past.
Yet the majority of the “unexpected” in life can also be someone expected. It can't be scheduled or fully predicted in advance yet there are ways to better plan for it and roll with it as a result. This is where "buffer time" can be the difference between a busy week or a near crisis. Regular life stressors such as sick days, sick kids, pet care, and a breakdown of something we rely on. There are also times when we may need more "buffer time". This may be in coping with an injury, a chronic health condition, or a loved one hitting a hard time. The list goes on and on.
I realized this firsthand, the hard way, during the transition to single parenting during a pandemic. With each illness and isolation period, I was quickly at risk for serious burnout. I learned to leave "buffer time" in my schedule to help manage these stressors. With young kids, it is pretty typical that they will be sick 10-12 times a year. They don't book this time with us in advance (how rude). Yet it is pretty much a certainty that it WILL happen. I have had to revisit this concept while navigating ongoing illness, grief, and loss and in various caregiving roles. There are seasons of life when we need to give ourselves more space and grace (when we are in a position to be able to do so).
We can't always plan for these stressors. (I wish we could). Yet, often we can look back and get a sense of what we can reasonably anticipate over time. If every minute of our schedule is booked there is very little buffer room. If we can set aside some time as a "buffer" it is there when we need to make accommodations.
For me, this includes admin time blocked in my schedule that I can use in case of an emergency. It means blocking space in my schedules for “catch-up” time. It is also being mindful of not over-scheduling myself (too often, I am still working on this one).
There are still times when the "buffer time" doesn't quite cut it. Then we just do our best and manage what we can. At times like this, it can be helpful to see where we can get support. Where we can reassess our expeditions of ourselves. Will it matter in 5 years from now? 1 year? 6 months? If the answer is probably not, don't put too much pressure on yourself. 'Good enough and done' is a helpful mantra for those of us recovering perfectionists.
Questions for reflection:
Where might "buffer time" be helpful in your life, and how can incorporating buffer time help you manage unexpected stressors?
Where can you carve out 'buffer time" in your own schedule?
What changes have there been in your own responsibilities and commitments recently?
What has helped you get through stressful times in the past?
What are the commitments that matter the most/are the most important to you?
I hope this concept can help you in your day to day.
Have you tried using buffer time to manage stress and avoid burnout? Share your experience in the comments below, and let’s discuss how this simple strategy can improve our lives.